A damn long day!

It starts with an early wake up in the islands church. Despite the 6 am alarm clock we will not see the complete sunrise on the lake. We get to the old roman cistern and sit down to enjoy the sunrise and meditate a bit. Yoga breathing and a couple aom. This does not calm down Goze so much and we go through the woods for the dead side of the island. This promised paradise is intriguing me and i cant wait to see it but first, as we walk through the woods, we stumble on one more ruin. Roman house probably says Goze. Next to it are laying numerous ceramic pieces and we start digging around a bit, only the first couple centimeters and still we are finding lots of ceramics. Parts of bigger and smaller pots, jars etc... We leave it there and go for the paradise. We are now walking with my compass, don't want to get lost again :) Soon it starts to smell, we are getting close. Amongst the gray ground, Goze notices one more mante religieuse, quite aggressive this one.
Then the grass starts to get higher and greener. The color is accentuated by the contrast with everything else that is white and dead and with the bluest sky. Goze is half astonished half disappointed, he never came at this time of the year and he has always seen it all white and dead. As promised, the trees have crazy shapes, are white and dead, no more leaves here for some time. It is truly unreal and magic. Some more pictures and a stop at his spot later, we get back to our shelter.
We have a dejeuner sur l herbe without naked women, make more jokes, talk more apu and enjoy the sun. I believe it is already eleven and this food will be enough as we get back to the church, we realize it is only 9. The fishermen will pick us up at 1pm, plenty of time until then. So we decide to pack and spend the rest of the time by the beach. As we packed everything, we realize the floor is real dirty and grab the balais and start cleaning. It was really needed and this will be a far better deed than leaving money. We chill in the sun, Goze goes for a swim, i sun bade.
Soon the fisherman arrive, luckily at the same time than the police which will therefor not bother us. We load the stuff and head back to the land. The fisherman have caught 2 small trouts, they still seem pretty big to me and we decide to buy them, they will make a proper meal after all this bread, cheese and bad pasteta. As we arrive on land, drink tea with the fishermen, Goze talks business, and negotiates the price of fish and a ride to Ressen. 1000 dennars for fish and ride plus the usual 2000 for the boat ride. My money is going lower and lower faster than ever. Before leaving the village, we visit the house Goze plans to buy to make his home. He left his soul here as he says and has to come back all the time so he will buy this ruin and make it his home. It is the only house in the village located a bit higher and the view on the lake is amazing. There is a lot of work needed on the house but it is worth it. Our driver knows the owners, they live in Ressen and he will drop us there so that Goze can talk business.
After bringing coffee and chocolate, he talks a bit with the present old lady about the house and we head for the bus station. Again no hitchhiking. Is Goze scared? for sure not! lazy? maybe a bit but it is mainly because we are starving for fish and need to be in Bitola for the train to Skopje. As i mentioned before, the train is much cheaper then the bus in Macedonia. So this time we take an illegal taxi, a Turkish man is going to Bitola and is filling up his car. 4 in the back, we are a bit squeezed but who cares, it makes it all cheaper for everyone. The trunk does not close but it does not matter, the old bike tire is there to close it somehow. And off we go in the old,fully loaded and coughing lada! Goze is once again talking a lot, i don't mind, i even would enjoy it if he wouldn't yell in my ears. But he nows it, he is full of energy and cannot help it :) My other neighbor went to Austria, Germany and the Switzerland to work. 8 years long. He speaks perfect German and we talk a bit about humanity, religion and Macedonia. The whole care except us (Goze is learning, i know 2 words) speaks Turkish and has a great familiarity with Turks. If the Macedonians hate Greek and some Bulgarians, they love the turks just as much. So we speak a bit about Turkey and everyone agrees how great it is there!

Pictures of the frst part of the day:


In Bitola, after missing the street, a hundred dennars extra get the driver to turn around and drop us right in front of a friend of Gozes house, he is a junky he says, but a good guy. And as we get in we find 2 of his friends but he rushed of. There is a Canadian, he was chased out of Canada as he explains and his family have a house here in the mountains where he stays. The other one is Macedonian. Goze goes out to get some bread and lemon to go with the fish. Meanwhile i start cleaning the fish properly and wash a couple pans and plates. The two guys are sitting close enough for me to hear their conversation. A real junky conversation, they are talking about what the doctor says about the scares and never healing injection spots on their body, about the fact that they do to much and then about how horses (heroine) is the best drug ever. How all the others give you paranoia and how many great people do this drug. That it is better than sex (ooo trainspoting). That the only bad thing about it are the crises, that they should be able to change their blood. Then, probably speaking about the bad looks and xxxx they are victim of, they say how bad all the people are out there. I have to think about my friend i met in Croatia and who is a drug counselor... these people are in an other world and to get of this drug you have to take that decision. But in their conversation i feel they try to comfort themselves and i really sense there is a heavy addiction here and that they know this very well. I do not intervene however and just learn from this conversation and scene how relative things are (once again) and who dangerously great and addictive that drug is. I think again about what that man said giving me a ride a couple days ago, how many of his friends switched to heroine and died of it. And as Goze says once again, all the people hooked on H are great, the all had some problle in their life and escape with this. To the reader thinkng “pfff, this is no excuse, you gave to fight, turn to your family and friends blablabla...” I ask them to think again, and consider my “pfff, your life is sooooo easy and you are a lucky bastard!”
Goze comes back, he takes over the cooking, not satisfied with my preparation of the fish. And he is probaby right since he cooks us the best fish ever. Even Emerson, the Canadian guy who said he would not eat fish because he does not like it joins us in this feasting. There are now just the tree of us and we are drinking white, eating and talking like completely normal people. Eerson is realty a great guy and i feel he needs help, counseling or something similar, probably simply love and attention. he gets an petit bonhomme, a pink and orange girly. Later Pero comes back and he tells us no way there is a train at 10pm. Thats the train from Skopje not to Skopje. Ok great and when is the next one. at 3.30 am... Ok nema problema, lets go out! We have 500 left if we take out the train ticket. We catch a cab, get the youngest driver in Bitola, he just got 18! And as we walked 50 meters on the main walking street, the giro, we see a couple young guys and girls playing guitar and singing for money. This is where our road stops, we sit down and enjoy great conversations and a lot of laughter. Some of them ar acedonians, some from Bitola, some from Skopje, some are Turkish and there is the other French bitch. Some of them where at Rainbow, some sing great improvised songs with great voice, some drink beer, some vine with honey, some prefer eating a cheap version of nutela with their fingers. We sit there for hours and at one point everyone, even the ones who wanted to stay, decide to go for Skopj. They had a great day, people where generous and the collected money will pay for the night train!

Walking up Trescavic.

After a late awakening, I pack and head out with Tonin for morning coffee and small breakfast. I call the French volunteer from Skopje to ask about this monastery, he was there this week end and explains me how to gt up. As we sip the coffee on a terrace in the center i realize i don't know anymore where i put my reserve 55 euros... I start searching trough my bag. Damn Raki, that was on the first night, we had a couple raki and i took that money out of my wallet so i don't loose or spend it. I remember sliding into something but what and where is it??? After saying goodbye to Tonin, I head back to the flat to look for it. Cant find it, it must be in my bag... and it is.
So i am ready to go finally, it is already past twelve, i have at least 2 or 3 hours to Prilep from where i must then walk up 2 hours. The sun is setting earlier and i should hurry a little if i don't want to be caught by darkness.

So off i go, say goodbye once more to Eric and stick y thumb out. First care stops, the judge for the area of Struga. He is driving a modest car and we start speaking (in English) about local crime :) He tells me that when he first started working, he was giving very high punishments but that his colleagues called him and asked him to be more gentle. He though about it and as he went through the past of Struga crime and found out that only 8% of criminals have been convicted twice or more. He concludes that he should be less firm on the first conviction since most people seem to realize they have been doing something wrong but harsher on the second sentence. He slowly drives me to Ohrid as we speak about France and the problems in big cities.
In Ohrid, i will have to wait a little bit before Zoran stops his van to pick me up. Zoran tells me about this Macedonian heavy weight lifter who started a sekt preaching peace and good nutrition. He has opened many healthy food stores and has a product line present in mot supermarkets (that same one i have bought from i will learn in the next days). We speak a ot about spirituality but mostly about life choices. A majority of people are scared and don't make the right choices in their lives, staying suck i what they do not really want: their job, which if you think is actually not their job since they work for someone else. Of course some people don't really have the choice. He choose to be a driver because once the small truck is loaded, he drives, nobody is here to tell him what to do, he just drives to his destination, listening to music and smoking cigarettes. It used to be better when there was no gps, now his company knows when he stops and who fast he drives. Less freedom... His younger brother seems to have made the right choice and found what he wants, he works as a waiter for some private yacht owner and is traveling the 7 seas around the world. He comes home once in a while for a couple month and then he just enjoys himself.
The next thing we speak about are drugs of course you could say. We are two sorta hippies, speak about politics, easy going life and of course at one point weed comes up in the discussion. He to used to smoke a lot and still does a bit but now it is much harder, it seems that in whole Europe it has become easier to find cocaine or heroin that grass. He tells me the local, Bitola version. Here there was a time where they was strictly no weed to be found and that many of his pot head friends who really needed something, well they switched to heroin. It is amazingly cheap and of course of really bad quality, it is mixed with plater or some other white or brown stuff. It has become a really common thing to take heroin and he has lost many friend from this affliction. Once again, and it is not the last time, i discover how affected Macedonian youth i by the drugs. There seems to be a real lack of prevention, understanding and help to the needing people.
We speak about nice subjects as well, the beautiful nature and low population of this area of Macedonia, half a man per square kilometer! He owns a small house (or two , cant remember) in a calm village and he is the proof that for those who want to work and get something, it is possible (even if you smoke Ganja :) He drops me as we pass Bitola, was really nice talking to him and i feel full of energy and ready to go!
Soon a truck comes up, it is the same truck that we met at our water stop in the mountains. We stopped to drink some pure spring water (amazing how in my childhood i naively though this was a unique Evian-Volvic thing but who springs are all over the place in this area) and there was a truck stopped there, we saluted him before heading back off. And now he is there and stops to pick me up. He does whoever not speak English and the communication is not so easy. He transports flour thats for sure :) He drops me in Prilep, the town of dolphins as Zoran told me. Not the animal but the ecstasy, everyone in this town is happy because they produce the best ecstasy of Macedonia... And being told this, next to all the tobacco leaves drying around here i do notice a lot of smiling faces but i believe it is rather because of the returning summer. I stop over for little food, i have to be going on budget, i have only about 10 euros left to gt out of Macedonia. Fortunately i will sleep at the monastery tonight and can leave whatever i feel like. So i buy a little bread, chocolate and apples and make my way up.
First i have to go through the whole town, see smiling kids and elders, smell the fresh Ajvar and ask for my way a couple times. I find the stoned road leading up to Trescavic and start my ascension in the evening light. Beautiful colors on the rocks and vegetation. This seems to me like a bouldering paradise, to bad i have no more shoes to tackle a couple blocks. There are in all shapes in every place around. Mostly rounded shapes with nice cracks for climbing. I will see more and more all along the way up. The place is magical, i get lost a little and am told the right way buy a peasant with his horses. He speak Macedonian but i understand everything he tells me about the way to go. I realize this later as i pass a spot with a rope to help you climb, i though i had understood something like that but didn't believe it until i saw it.
After passing a couple fountains and a beautiful picnic spot, i reach the top of the mountain just in time to catch the sunset. And what a beautiful sunset! These monks knew where to build the monastery! I walk in, are welcomed in the kitchen by Kaliste, the future monk, Goze and a couple others. After dropping my stuff in my room, I get some hot bread with cheese and assist to a very politicized discussion. There is the small, young, maniac Macedonian patriot who wanted me to touch his hard muscles, the wise, calm Serb and one other balancing Macedonian. I don't understand every word and i wish i would because i do understand they speak about Yugoslavia, fucking Greeks and Bulgarians and then the young one is full of contradiction i wish i could point out. Fortunately, Kalistes mother comes in and the discussion switches subject :)
Soon i am exhausted and to cold and go to sleep. This will be a very cold night, the coldest in a long time. I think it must have had a couple degrees under 0. On top of my sleeping bag i put 2 thick blankets and can still feel the cold. I cover my head which is freezing. But after 1 hour of heating the bed and blankets, i am comfortable and fall asleep.

Saturday night is White night. Monday is museum day.

The white night is quiet an exceptional one here, everyone is on the streets, young, kids, not so young, students and workers... The main square holds a concert and we notice how small this city is, in less than an hour, we meet 3 or 4 of Aurelies friends. We go for a couple drinks and chat a bit with a young man who is very blaze of everything. He is gay and seems to think that half the population is. He has worked in Sydney and is the first person who tells me this city sucks. His parents have taken hi over the world there is almost not a country he has seen, he has written half the constitution of Macedonia, lived in New York... he is 30 and something and just had a hart attack. Even that doesn't seem to affect him. He could be a very interesting man if everything he said didn't sound so normal and uninteresting. He does not seem to want to do anything anymore...
I rapidly turn to my cafe bucheron and chat a bit with Sandra who was playing with fire and swaring around a couple days ago. Now she does not make such a strong impression anymore... Looks like someone else is getting blase... We head for a party organized by a friend in an underground club. Actually the party has not started yet, we just go to check out the location. It s old and looks like a comy place but is well decorated. Unfortunately it has kept the smell from the comy days. I chat a bit with the boss who we have met a couple days before. Nice man, new in the business it seems. Later on the club is full and people smoke and sweat and no on notices the smell anymore. The music is trance of course and people are on drugs of course... you must be thinking drug drugs drugs, thats all that happens in Skopje, well you are almost right, drugs and trance everyday. Tonight everyone seems to get ecstasy from a guy with long hair at the bar so after a couple people asking me for “something”, i tried to keep a little distant from the bar. The guy in question is Actually selling the stuff from behind the counter, alongside beers except there is no receipt for Es. Some everyone is on the same drug and at one point, later that night, i get the impression everyone is reaching a peak at the same time. Everything around is like madness, people are hugging everywhere, yelling and laughing and the dealer is laying on the bar, ecstatic. Funny times for me, the boss and a policemen, probably the only three people tonight who did not take anything. Young girls in purple, pink and flashy green are shining and dancing in the uv light, a big wasted guy with a broken nose wants to start making out with a girl on the floor, right next to the bar after crashing to the floor with a big bang. The girl happens to be the same one who was talking to me couple minutes before, getting very close and telling me about her fiance... but the big man is not the fiance. They disappear into the toilette...
My two friends are not having such a great time, they did not get their drugs from the barman but rather amphetamine from the organizer of the event... And it is not heron this time but still does not seem to work heaps... A drugs world. The word friend does not have any meaning anymore went it comes to drugs, everyone want some and when it comes down to business, you might as well rip of everyone, including our friends. As the night is getting late, i have a blast with Sandra and Hihi, they are complaining about the music, too violent so we go out a while in the park, sit in the rain and laugh with a bunch of other party boys. After smoking a little the opinion about the music suddenly has changed and they njoy it very much... To me it is just the same electronic bum bum...
Before leaving i meet some people from the rainbow festival. Quite funny to see those that were running naked, eating healthy food and meditating again. Now they are in babylon, drugged but still preaching natural life. An other dude is walking around with one crouch, seems to struggle but wants no help, just get to a place with no rain to take one more line of amphetamine. There is a day bar in the back of some building, a couple meters from the club and as he leans against it, he unpacks his stuff on the bar but did not seem to think that even though it is not wet it is still humid and his stuff starts to agglomerate to bigger and bigger balls. A dude pull out an exit pass (plastic card, same place i was a couple month ago... party people meet again...) to help but the ball dont get smaller. Damn it he is loosing patience and sniffs it all anyway...
Even if I laugh interiorly and have plenty new reasons not to do these drugs, i still understand these people have problems and maybe need help and not a stranger making fun or a starting to try reasoning them. This is not the end of junky Macedonia...

Good night!

Skopje drug city...

Tonight i will once again have the confirmation about who afflicted Skopje is by drugs but i warn you it is a long read and no pictures. After a very quiet day and a good filling dinner, we meet at Hihi's house to drink a couple glasses of vine and get ready for tonights big party at the club right next to her home. For a change, it is a trance night but there is a live drum performance going with it. Sounds great. If for me getting ready means sip the vine, talk and joke around comfortably seated in the couch, for the 3 of the girls around it means quite something else. A friend comes over with some amphetamine and i can feel the mood changing as they are preparing shots. They sniff it so they have prepared a couple lines on a CD cover and rolled a banknote... With some of them i can feel the apprehension, and that before they even take their shot, they already feel a lot better. The atmosphere is happier, the talk is more relaxed but despite the attitude trying to play it cool and as if everything was normal, the eyes are always sticking to the cd. This is especially true for the blond colored girl sitting on my left hand side. She is now smiling a little and lost the contracted expression she had on her face.
It is amazing how in a couple minutes her expression changes, as she walked in she was as is said a little reserved and contracted, when the dealer arrived, she relaxed, when the lines were on the table she was getting delighted, when she had the cd in her hand she was feeling comfortable, snifffff in... haaa slight breath out ... sniffff other naustral. Now, nothing would possibly stop her doing her thing and feeling full of energy and like a queen of the night... And she passes it to right hand side, to me, i put on a discreet, polite smile and say no thanks. “Why !?!” Slightly offended... Well i don't put anything in my nose i reply politely, not wanting to tell the brutal truth: that i have no idea what they are handing me, that it looks like some brown powdered dirt, that i don't do any chemicals, that i don't need it to have a nice night, that i am already feeling very good etc... Once again her expression changes, i can see doubt in her eyes, the smile faded away but only for a matter of seconds, I pass it to the right. Snifff in, breath out, sniff in the other side. snif snif my nose itches... houuuuuu this is strong shit she says .... and i keep my smile and fake attitude while i think houuu that just annihilated some of you smelling abilities and is corroding quite some tissues... already the two girls to my left who had their shot before are changing expressions once again. They look turns to that of a heavy drunk, movement are clumsy, speech is comparable to that of an Englishman at midnight.
Already the first girl stands up, unsure steps, the unity in the group and discussions is n longer existing, the second girl walks away to the toilets and comfortably seated in the couch next to me, the third says “Fuck i feel so good!” and a bit later as she balanced her head back a couple times and here look is vague and seems to be lost somewhere distant, she sight again “fuck... what is this??” My guess is that you just tried heroin darling... And probably not the best version of it. I mean i don't know much about amphetamine since i never had any but i would not have expected it as a brown powder and i know the effects are supposed to be energizing. And now, a couple minutes after her shot, my neighbor is incapable of doing anything, she wants to rest a couple minutes, take a nap before going out. Hihi does not agree, her mom is home and she will wonder what she does home and what happened and while find out about the drugs... Yes, i forgot to mention, as we are “preparing to go out” in the living room, Momy is sleeping next door.
So we all leave after one last blast of a trance tune on the home stereo. All this happened real fast, maybe 10 minutes between the time they unpacked the shit and th time we left. The two girls are fucked, the dealer friend tells me thats why he never does chemicals (but he still will drop a couple pills later on...). I for myself enjoy the party, have a couple more drinks while the girls are struggling to keep up, completely softened out by what they agre to be bad heroin... The blond girl that was sitting next to me is like a zombie, she does not know how to behave anymore and finally vomits on the dance floor... The music is blasting, i am still having a good time, however slightly worried about the third girl still in the apartment. I give a call, she answers and says she will come in a couple... She was alright, sounded real tired but she never came. Nothing else special to say about this night, i meet more of the trance crowd of Skopje, all nice people but with a bit of a drug problem. Some are aware of it in control but others are clearly overrun...

Meditation

there you go!!! slide showmode!

Today after hanging around in the city, we decide to join Hihi and go to an “ashram” in an apartment and meditate a little :) A man picks us up and brings us to the flat where the meditation will take place.
We enter a room that has been specially arranged for our little journey into our minds. 6 little cushions where placed in a circle in the middle of an almost empty room. The wall are painted white, the only things on the floor are the cushions, nicely arranged on the soft carpet. The room is very minimalistic and provides a very calm but comfortable and warm feeling. Past this first impression me and Aurelie start to notice the details. On the wall there is a poster showing a mix of any religious and spiritual symbols... a bit of a Davids cross mixed with a heart, the trinity symbol in Arabic and something Catholic. This mix, painted in blue red and gold on a pure white background, seems a little to universal to me. Everyone may find content in this mix of symbols and that is precisely the aim of it i guess. A small table holds a couple candles and a glass sculpture i don't remember the exact shape of, underneath it, books about or by the guru are found in a couple languages. All sorts of titles can be found here: peace of mind, escape your life, everything you never dared asking or talking about, how to live your life, follow my path, i will bring the universal answer, the quest for tantrum, etc... Like you i couldn't hold back a small smile :) In the corner, a small tv on a miniature book shelve is hidden behind an orange light tissue. The shelve holds a couple videos about the guru and some more books bringing all possible answers. From the top of the tv, a portrait of the smiling guru is watching us. so far so good, i knew what to expect and i am nor surprised nor feeling uncomfortable. Rather i feel quite good, this is a good opportunity to calm down a little after long days and nights of party and never stopping discussions and joking around with Aurelie. As we are listening to the introduction from tonights spiritual leader (he is not confirmed yet but will lead our meditation tonight) about the guru we are told how young he looks on the portrait despite his 50 years. This community is based on friendliness between each other, relaxation, a meat and drug free life (no cigarettes, coffee or alcohol) and uses a lot of yoga bases and i do feel warmly welcome as we exchange basic polite questions and answers about our lives.
As we talk and introduce ourselves, i notice a second poster, it is in my back and i didn't see it before. The guru is painted in an old fashion way next to a portrait of Leonardo da Vinci! The painting is drawn a little like those sketches of Da Vinci we all have in memory and the juxtaposition of the two faces suggest a linkage, parallel between the two men. I almost laugh out aloud and make a joke about it. That man really thinks he is a new Jesus and apparently there are people ready to believe it and who pay to attend his summer school programs.
Tonights believers are a bit of a mix but mainly occupied in computer science. Tonights leader is one, so is a man who should come soon but is too busy with work (does not seem to free them completely from their job and preoccupation these meditations), so is the girl with coca cola red lipstick and so am i... A couple more words about the girl with the red lipstick, she also wears glasses and has her dark hair attached in two ponytails, one on each side of her head... reminds me very much about the girl in one of those old French tv series. One of those with adolescents who have lots of complicated and naive love sorries. I can not remember the name of the series (there were s many of them) but anyone who grew up in France knows this girl, she had the stupidest voice, childish lipstick, big glasses and dark hair attached just like the girl tonight. Every time she says one of those naive things she thinks, i automatically translate them into French and add that stupid high tone. This gives me one more good reason to be happy and enjoy my night. So here i am sitting in circle with Aurelie, The lipstick girl, Hihi, the guru and his girlfriend talking about our issues and lives. Hihi once again speaks about her none existing nose problem and how she needs to get it fixed. We also talk about the beauties of life as we get into a relaxed sitting position for meditating.
We close our eyes and listen to the spiritual leader (hehe) telling us to relax. Your face is relaxed, your feet are relaxed, your back is relaxed, your anus is relaxed (yesyes...). Very slow and soft voice but i cannot help myself thinking that it would be easier to relax and think about nothing without him giving me good reasons to laugh all the time!
After a while of silence, his voice always calls us back on track. I don't now if this is the right way to put it, but everything he says meant something to us. For example He told us about the child in us and as we talked about it later with Aurelie, we were both thinking about this right before he said them!
As we open our eyes, we have an other chat about this experience and childhood, the things we enjoyed dong and did with passion. I remember playing with the river in the back our garden at the times where the water was brown and its level rising. Wintertimes were the cold weather did not hold me back from building dams in the mud with my feet in the water. We speak about lost innocence and natural behavior. Things we did without thinking, before we became aware of what those things might mean to others. Times where the others look upon us had no importance at all...
This nice little chat is followed by a cup of tea and as we sit in the kitchen and I watch our leader being very touchy with Hihi and his girlfriend, the lipstick girl with her boyfriend (our host), i realize and think about the affective and sexual dimension of this sect. It is tme for us to leave :) we walk out and go straight for a beer to counter all the good we have done to our shakras :) The Aya bar is a real nice one, one of the nicest i have seen in Skopje. Nice oriental decoration, delicious juices and small tweeting birds.